“Remember that you and I made this journey together to a place where there was nowhere left to go.“
JHUMPA LAHIRI, THE NAMESAKE
Back again with some poetry with a piece holding on for so long on a cramped shelf in a filled up book. Today, in lieu of an old memory, I find the courage to share this small piece with you.
Enjoy!
My dear old
sixty one
My dear old, sixty-one, six one sounds so few
You’re not around and I feel so blue.
I am staring at a piece of paper but nothing seems to be getting through
I am all alone in a very loud world
days pass by and everything is just the same
I am constantly sick. No purpose. With no resolution.
I am constantly in pain. in an asylum unit for the sane.
I need a solution. I am struggling to break free.
It is my birthday today but I feel so low
My dear old, big old six, one
You are not around and I feel so blue. I often wonder what if? Would I still feel at ease?
A downcast face, heavy eye-lids and a throat dried up from dirge’s
Dear old six one, I am all alone with a very glum soul.
Here’s to the hype only you could make up before the clock struck twelve on the 10th going on to the eleventh
A birthday song only stuck to the dry bones of my mind.
Old man sixty-one
Who now will stay up with me as I add another year to my calendar?
to cook for me, to sing for me
to share my silence to comfort me
My dear old six one-; sixty-one, six one will never be the same for me.
p.s. For me no one can ever hold a candle to your name
R.A.M
Whilst you are here, check these previous posts out! once, two times, it’s allowed.
I’ll start off today with a quote from a paper by Mehraj et al (2014) which goes:
“Man is a social animal, he cannot live in isolation, so his actions affect not only him but society in general, Society affects a man in so many ways[1].”
What does the above quote mean? Hmm. Idk. What do you think it means?
The contemporary society has become centered on mass media, namely social media and well let’s face it, it is common sense it doesn’t take a sociology degree for one to know this.
But have you ever stopped to ask yourself the underpinnings of this general piece of knowledge? What it means for society? Hell, forget society! But what does it mean to you? The individual?
Social media is not all bad with:
increased interconnectedness- compressing time and space,
Marketing and advertising made easy etc. etc.
However people do not really think about other things, like:
The fragmentation of the audience as people choose what they what to see or hear. If it is too violent, “why should I watch it?” If it is too political, “why should I care? I’m young and on the other side of the world so this does not affect me.”
It creates the illusion of social change and a utopia of order, look at the Arab Spring[2]. Illusive meaning to say that it is chaotic and does not create change in society because it has to move from online campaigns (videos, pictures and #hashtags), which are just virtual, to the real world. Implementing effective measures to reduce cyber bullying or police brutality.
Living in an ever shrinking world, a global village with numerous micro-world’s (which here will be described as a world which an individual has constructed themselves based on their values and personal networks), pause-;
I just realized that I was heading for a really long blog post and if I headed down this path it would take me off the essence of what I really wanted to write about today and how I want to execute my thoughts.
Well a fun fact is today I will try to be less grisly but still write in a way that I feel at home with. If you’ve read one of my earlier posts The Journal of X, Y and Z, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Ps. if you liked it, you’re definitely in for a treat today. Well here goes nothing! Enjoy!
If I posted it all.
If I posted it all I think I’d feel too exposed, with people knowing my schedule. My likes and dislikes. All the love I’ve lost. My healing or evasive processes and well generally that for me is just TMI. Things for me that I cannot disclose to the world because when you post it there is no going back.
If I posted it all, you would know that I have had this blog post in my mind for the past week. Fragmented, with the title constantly knocking at the base of my head (not sure where that is exactly), not really knowing if it’s my physiology telling me if I’m hungry or if my stomach was tired of complaining hence it decided to take to the head office (lol head office. get it, my head).
If I posted it all, you the reader of this piece, or the viewer of my small social media following would know that one literary idea for me can transform into a whole network of ideas. Like the roots of a leguminous crop these ideas all grow at the very same time each running its own course tapping into the foundations of my brain but never parallel as sooner or later these ideas get entangled[3] underground that is somewhere in my mind. However I am sad to say that if I pick one root I lose the rest.
If I posted it all you would know that when I write, I get a literary rush. From my brain blood rushes to my fingers with such speed that I cannot even explain it in words. It feels amazing. I feel centered. And in those moments the world stops for me. I can block it all out but still have it playing at the back of my head. I am conscious of my surroundings but I am not bothered. Not distracted. I do not want to be disturbed.
If I posted it all you would know that I have been going through a lot lately. My being in a turbulent row, being tossed around as with the motions of clothes in a washing machine or fruit being shredded and turned to mush in a blender. But for now don’t come asking me what’s wrong. My therapy is in session as I scribble on this electronic paper, having blueberry flavored biscuits and piping hot tea for supper.
If I posted it all, you would know that right now I feel this high surge of energy coursing through me, oh wait I forgot that I was supposed to be listening to Imagine Dragons the Origin album as I type. Pause. Whilst I press play; Birds is first on queue. I love the song. It speaks to my soul. “Everything is temporary, everything will slide.” Reminds me of the Buddhists teachings on impermanence[4]. Maybe you should contemplate meditation with Andrea. Also music is medicinal for me.
If I posted it all, you would know that I have really great contacts in my phone book. I really light up when someone asks me, “Hey, Andrea. Do you still write?” First thought in my head is I have been slacking!!! But in essence I have people who motivate my interests, my passions and for that I feel grateful, for I am elated by the push towards motivation and the reminder that I need to step it up. STOP PROCRASTINATING! Okay, okay, I got it. Chill out.
Ps. thank you for the reminder. Thank you for taking an interest. Welcome to Andy’s world.
If I posted it all, I would be posting every single conversation I have, but for what? I appreciate stimulating conversation, engage my mind on a higher level. Shallow conversations are not for me. Small talk is not for me. Do not be lazy when talking to people who put effort in communicating. This might explain the wait in response time. On some days I may be emotionally unavailable, under the weather so to speak so I prefer not wasting time. MIA take flight. Please do not take it personally.
If I posted it all, you would know that human rights matter. #Zimbabweanlivesmatter.
If I posted it all, you would know that of late I have taken to doing a lot of self-searching. Did you know it is important to know what you like and dislike? Not in a general manner but in a deeper fashion. To discover what it means to be you without having someone else tell you things they think fit your description. Once upon a time someone asked a question which went along the lines, “why don’t you go come out with your friend more often?” And the friend responded, “Oh she likes to Netflix and chill.” Buuuuuttttt. Excccuuusseee meeee is thaattt really me? Maybe it is but that is not the point. Self-introspection is important, and not just saying it or doing it in 1 minute and saying, “I’m done,” it is a process!! Do you know that someone out there prefers ice- cream to cake? Personally I think it a hard question. How do you even get to choose between two greats? Experimentation you say? Something are just relative to A than to B. Subjective.
If I posted it all, you would know that this post has taken a completely different direction from the one originally intended by the blogger.
If I posted it all, you would know that I have reverted to an old hobby of mine that is old fashion reading. So if you’re reading this please do suggest some good books for me to explore.
If I posted it all you would know that of late I have become enthralled by Mark Manson’s work and his thoughts of taking responsibility on every single thing in my life whether my fault or not. I am captivated by The Subtle Art of not giving A F*ck[5].
If I posted it all you would know that I am a picture person. I love taking pictures of myself, capturing moments of other people and of inanimate objects. But of late I have lost the zest of it. I just do not feel up to scratch. I.e. photogenic.
If the people I know posted it all you would know that lockdown has literally driven people up a glass wall, it is opaque. All that is to be seen are fuzzy images, it is up to you to give them shape. It’s fortified enough not to break, but it cannot support all our weight. I am slipping. He is also slipping. The community is slipping. But what we need to do is to hold each other up so that we do not fall into despair. Because like it or not this has become our long-term reality.
If I posted it all you would know that in another life I would be pursuing a B.A and not a BSc.
If I posted it all you would know that I have thought of being on a talk show. I might even reconsider an offer I once got if the post is still open.
If I posted it all you would know that some people are just outrunning karma. But you cannot keep running forever.
If I posted it all you would know of late I have been considering baking and I have concluded that in spite of the science behind it I might actually come to love it one day.
If I posted it all, you would know that I do not know what you as an individual are going through but I pray you feel better. I hope you find solace in your time of need. Peace in your heart. Love that will warm you up and lift you to greater heights. Strength to confront the difficulties you are facing. And comfort in knowing that there are people who care enough to listen. I.e. me.
[1] Mehraj, H. K., Bhat, A. N., 3, Mehraj, H. R. (2014) Impacts OF Media on Society: A Sociological Perspective. International Journal of Humanities and Social Science. Pp. 56-64. Volume 3 Issue 6.
[2] The Arab spring are a series of anti-government protests, uprisings and armed rebellions that spread across much of the Islamic world early in 2010.
[3] (I used the word “entangled” as it was best suited for this paragraph and for no other reason, if you’re thinking about some hidden joke, WELLL IT’S NOT ME, ITS YOU!)
[4] “…one of the essential doctrines of Buddhism. The doctrine asserts that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is “transient, evanescent, inconstant”.All temporal things, whether material or mental, are compounded objects in a continuous change of condition, subject to decline and destruction.” NB. Straight from Wikipedia butt true!
[5] Manson, M. (2016) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. 1st ed. HarperOne. ISBN 9780062457738
okay.. first thing is first🙉🙈🙊 coming back here after an age of absence is incredibly mortfying. Everything seems so new, from the fonts😯 to the basic blank page😅 , and honestly i’ll be thankful after i am done with the whole post because above all else i am thinking about those loyal to my blog😬…
“Remember that you and I made this journey together to a place where there was nowhere left to go.” JHUMPA LAHIRI, THE NAMESAKE Back again with some poetry with a piece holding on for so long on a cramped shelf in a filled up book. Today, in lieu of an old memory, I find the…
Happiness in poverty is a very important and relevant (coronavirus changing the way of life, stagnation, regression) title that stuck to my mind when I was speaking to one inspirational person who always reminds rather urges me to maintain a very strict diet to combat my allergies and also who stirs me into thought provoking…
I’ll start off today with a quote from a paper by Mehraj et al (2014) which goes: “Man is a social animal, he cannot live in isolation, so his actions affect not only him but society in general, Society affects a man in so many ways[1].” What does the above quote mean? Hmm. Idk. What…
Sometimes when screenplay analysts sell movies on the big screen the content comes alive amounting to something that has the potential to become epic and in those two to three minutes of a movie trailer, one is made a believer. The bar is set so high one feels a fool by waiting for the premiere.…
I looked at my screen time and I must say I was disappointed in myself. I mean fifty-nine minutes of screen time and thirty-nine from these fifty-nine are allocated to social networking with only a minute each dedicated to productivity and creativity. I am hurt but then I find myself questioning why I feel my…
I have a piece of gum stuck underneath the sole of my shoe. I have tried wriggling my foot but it will not come off, “that is silly” I think to myself, “it’s gum, it sticks”. I have a piece of gum stuck underneath the sole of my shoe. Inspite of it I keep walking…
I stayed up late searching for inspiration. Watching an old movie, not many words in it though. A lot of action, a lot of singing, but overall entertaining. Something to watch, something to keep the eyes busy, something to distract the mind. There’s a lot of background noise in this picture its really loud but it’s all so ironic too as I can’t seem to hear anything from it, although the words are as clear as day, all I can say is I am cozy, feeling my toes getting toasty. Incoherent all the while being essential to the process. But from what I’ve said I’ve seen my error and in starting this I was thinking so hard to avoid it. “Searching for inspiration,” did I really just type that? Well I did but then this brings me to point out my error. Inspiration for me is not something one searches for, like a wallet in messy bedroom or your glass case just five minutes before you’re supposed to leave the house. Inspiration is something that just comes to a person. It is not sought out to be found but it blooms from within, from one spot it grows, warming you up with sweet elation, aspiring creativity and building up until it shouts out to the mind. But see here: you either listen and work from it or hear it and let it pass into a random thought and leave it to wilt, to be forgotten. I have been feeling inspired for the longest of times but then what was stopping me from acting? Well it’s simple really, the fear of introducing myself, putting myself out there, into the world and making my seemingly small voice heard. It is frankly daunting to fall in a mirthless conversation in which your views are unheard. Battling the word cliche in one’s own head, “avoid monotony, Andrea,” all the while remaining to true to one’s path.
The trees just outside the house have been whispering to the birds in the brook. The birds in the brook singing to the butterflies on the tall African sun-dried grass still rooted in the ground; gently swaying to the sweet hums of the wind. The river whistles to the sky, which in turn bustles a bright bold deep blue laughing buoyantly, stringing with it the wispy crystalline clouds. As the white storks fly back South; home for the summer, the warmth spreading throughout the day; tapering off a bit under the starry night sky.
I gaped at them unable to look away. I stared at them - transfixed, my gaze lingering at their wide toothed smiles. The air echoing their laughter back to the earth giving out their life; their light. A camaraderie runs deep within them, Deeper than the veins beneath their skin, Their whispering hearts, drumming softly against their inner walls of their rising and falling chests. Secrets of an ancient story, an ancient history; painted upon their skin. United as one beating heart, souls merged beyond the limits of time to form the whole, Always better than pieces apart.
The sun shines brightly overhead, its rays glimmering upon their radiance. A mother to her daughter, a daughter to her son, one friend to another. I am entranced by the animation of their existence. I am in awe, an idiosyncrasy uplifting my soul.
~R.AM~
Growth for me comes in the small things: what can be seen in everyday life. Creation can flourish from the mundane, the laughter of my family during that hour or two we sit together in the evenings or late in the afternoon; strolling alone somewhere deep in my feelings, or in the extraordinary: the exhilarating moments in which your blood is rushing fast within, a moment of meditation enlightened by a higher power. For a plant to grow it has to be nurtured, and in my journey towards my momentarily unknown destination vested within this here blog, I wish to aspire to inspire, to connect and to relate, from the world within me to that around me. Well hello world, welcome to Andyscribbles.
I woke up this morning feeling ecstatic. A whole week of unfiltered joy. It pulsed inside my being like a fresh-water spring rejuvenating me from within. Would you believe it? I feel invincible, wind running enticingly through my hair like a protagonist in a Jane Austin novel. I should run a marathon, right after I donate all my wealth; after all its for a good cause. These jabs of pain will go away much easier after a rush of sugar in my system.
Rainbows, Sunshine and Daisies💆🏽♀️. Waterfalls, Mountain Ranges and Hued Skylines 🤸🏽♀️.
Who am I? Even I myself have lost sight of my reality. The glitches of melancholy seem like Deja vu- piercing my beating heart like the tip of heated blade, quickly disappearing with each heartbeat, the moment I catch myself wallowing in self-pity. No! That broken image can never catch up to me. I am over the moon! ECSTATIC😤!
Denial 1- Acceptance 0
Emotional discomfort. I am a bundle of a million sensations, surging zealously in every inch of my being. My body is raging at me, and I cannot seem to understand why? The air I am inhaling is stifling my nostrils, setting them ablaze as I breathe in this vaporized sun. The follicles on my skin are enraged, raising the little hair on skin up in alarm but for what? I cannot seem to understand the scorching heat, at 16 degrees, being delivered in atomic waves under the very sun which nurtured me to this big age. My tongue is heavy with words it cannot seem to make sense of. Where they are coming from, to whom they are directed to, my slippery sword has no idea, but it lies in wait for the victim who dares cross its path, for a devilish tongue lashing. My teeth are clenched, grinding on a nonexistent bone; gnawing fervently at a foe they know not. My fists are balled up and ready for a battle. My mind is ready for war.
Anger 2-Acceptance 0
It should have been me! How is it possible to feel so numb. I need to cling onto this rope for dear life but it is threading like it has just caught fire, and as I free fall into the unknown, I am certain of one thing.
There is nothing to break my fall.
My teeth chatter achingly from the fear which slithers slowly down my spine. I shiver from the cold breeze of helplessness. Ground 🙏🏽, please swallow me whole. I could have held out a bit longer. Now I am left steering a motor without breaks to slow me down, no airbag to break the impact of my torso slamming forward onto a dashboard that charts chaos from zero to a hundred. If only I had changed my ways sooner. I am writhing in regret. All the words left unsaid are highlighted in red by misdeeds enacted in the blinding lights of rage. I should have apologized then. It was all my fault. After all how can I ever can I ever compare? If I could, I would have fought the heavens for the chance to do right by them.
The pain is unbearable. A tasteless joke.
Is this what it means to be human? I implore the heavens as I make a deal to break away from my past.
Bargaining 3- Acceptance 0
An endless sea of sorrow. The waves of melancholy drown my plea for help. I hear nothing when you speak; just a flat line as you waffle by yourself in a conversation meant for two. My feet are heavy against the earth as I struggle to drag myself along. None of it makes sense. My hunger wanes, as fatigue ravages my flesh and the pain nibbles purposefully at my soul. I cannot drown out the loud the reality which has been set on the motion picture in the theater of my existence. Fatally wounded, wallowing about in an agony only I can truly understand. The painful flashes of memory, flood my mind uncontrollably. All I see when I give into sleep is us, walking together and now you are gone.
Depression 4-Acceptance 0
Acceptance.
That is the final stage of grief as they say. What face does Acceptance take? Will you give me a medal for experiencing something so morose and intangible, with applause?
The final score cannot be defined, except by self.
You may fight and lose. Find treasure which can be lost within a blink of an eye. Find comfort and have it taken away from you. Have hope but it may wane like a flickering flame in the wind.
Unique to each. The only questions are do you know who you are through it? Where you wish to go? How you seek to get to the after? Anyone can tell you what to do. Little can make sense as one goes through losses experienced in life events but through the power of autonomy one has the capability to define their own way to the After Loss and accept what cannot be undone.
There is a wall between our minds which is part of why we said goodbye.
I felt the barrier but I chose not to see it, instead I ran into it only so that I could get the little that you could give.
I thought of you today admittedly a little more than I did a month after you eclipsed.
I miss the false sense of security, reassurance, that you offered nonchalantly m-; the sip of water you give to unsuspecting pilgrims seeking a religion you cannot fathom, one you never truly could understand.
The warmth in your voice is carried through me today on this particularly long day, no text, no missed call just deleted pictures of you which I wish I could bring back.
No pep talk, or schedule or compliant about a Day’s hard work.
How are you ?
Quite curious,
The silence tells me you are well
A pebble skipping across a lake only to sink before it can even reach midway.
Black ink to a quilt, a stain as deep as liquid crimson.
I lay here, in the dark, truly perplexed by my behavior this is uncharacteristic of me.
I guess I will just unmake the figment of my imagination that moulded you into my sphere of existence.
Goodbye fixation, may we never meet again.
Mirage, imaginary; friend.
R. A. M.
Seemingly dark or is just my dark mode? Anyway 🧽 bob will cheer you up 😉
I wore my crocs and socks although I didn’t know I was in for a real adventure. Over the hills and under the cerulean skyline, twisting and winding, trekking along those ever so narrow rivers. Following the contours, like an elephant, the goal is to climb up only to look down from the top, take all in. It’s winter here. Feels like it’s winter everywhere. My mistake, I misspoke. In this land there’s no such thing as winter or autumn or spring. No wonder I put on my crocs and socks. I wonder why my chest feels so cold.
You heard my monologue and called me through my dreams. I was sleeping ever so soundly. But I had not realized my thoughts had followed me to my dreams which led me to wake up to two text messages all from you. Smiling. But you cannot see it. I wonder what my voice sounds like when it calls to you when I’m not near.
Crocs and socks are ever so convenient. I was tired after a long day. I got into my room. Let down my hair. Never mind my jacket. With a lingering scent of the outside world. Paranoia. Maybe. I slid out of my crocs. Climbed onto my bed. Curling on top of the covers. My feet are covered with a thin layer of cotton and a film of earth. I am dust and to dust I shall return. But not today. For Sleep has come to take me away with a sure promise to bring back me to tomorrow. Bright and earlier in time for sunrise.
Chronicles of an insomniac… Black and white or Green and blue?
i wish i could hold on to the night sky, star gazing. i wish there were a thousand of them, smiling down at me, giving me a sense of calm in the midst of the turbulence rampant on the river bed. i am a pebble and i am being etched out of the sand, particle by particle- i am being laid bare. but they are only 88 constellations and a pair of eyes that tire. only able to cry after midnight and on the inside. i bawl my eyes in awe as i try to take it all in, i am astonished but i do not forget to breathe because in that moment of pure bliss i remember, tomorrow and it awaits me.
i am drifting away slowly, as light as a feather, blowing in the wind but i am conscious. too aware of my surroundings to completely let go. swim away, paddle fast. i hear myself say as i count my sheep. do not look back, just paddle fast. the voice gets deeper as i get to eight out of the hundred that i am supposed to count. never mind the semblance of the olive branch just paddle fast and swim away. the word sheep is being twirled around still but its almost lost. the raft of ducklings is overcome by the current. being swept away towards the waterfall as the brood of three waddles onwards on the dry sand headed for cover. away from prying eyes. i am wide awake and my mental abacus of one hundred sheep is cast away as i drown in the silent cries of the baby ducks.
I am the girl in the back, wearing a grey hoodie, waiting for you to turn around and notice me; hiding in plain sight. I am the girl sitting in front of you in history class, I raise my hand answering the question presented by the figure standing in the front. They pick me and…
I have been walking blind-sighted for quite a stretch, seeing my own view of the lonely looking mountain that stands tall and unmoving in front of me. Proud and magnificent it tower meters above me, sneering and snickering at me; taunting me, daring me to take a go at it, to begin my ascent, the…
Monologue He said, she said… it’s all now impotent rhetoric. No answer to the multitude of questions flowing in. Projected realities; everyone seeing what they want to see as opposed to what’s right in front of them: Reality. It hits you like walking into a huge glass screen always just right in front of you…
okay.. first thing is first🙉🙈🙊 coming back here after an age of absence is incredibly mortfying. Everything seems so new, from the fonts😯 to the basic blank page😅 , and honestly i’ll be thankful after i am done with the whole post because above all else i am thinking about those loyal to my blog😬 and those i am yet to ensare with my beautiful words 😅 because silence makes me feel like i’ve let both down, adding myself to the trio. Please look kindly upon my misdoing’s and forgive this little birdy.
Where have I been all this time….in the pits!!!
Honestly, examination sessions are just always brutal to me and i don’t ever look forward to the anxiety that comes up as you wait for those results. This especially when you know that your life is about to change and after this period there will be no more laughing with a familiar face about whether or not you have finished the assignment due on the next morning or whether or not you’re prepared for the inclass coming in that very difficult course starting at 10am that very morning… yikes!!! life as we know it means being in a constant state of change whether good or bad, staying in just one space seems too good to be true and with that you have to be ready to roll with the punches. bringing me to today’s subject, picking myself up and moving forward😲….the uncertainty laying in wait for the day that is tomorrow.
But today, i have decide that i will not mope about it or stress too much on it.
Employment?😓
Further Certification?🤓
Moving away and having all my dreams come true in a flash?😁
No today i have decided that this will be the shortest post so far and i am just happy to be here, with this one post in the right direction. definitely doing something which i find uplifting in this period of great incertitude.
Happiness in poverty is a very important and relevant (coronavirus changing the way of life, stagnation, regression) title that stuck to my mind when I was speaking to one inspirational person who always reminds rather urges me to maintain a very strict diet to combat my allergies and also who stirs me into thought provoking conversations every time I visit their office. Hero’s do not always wear capes sometimes all they do is talk sense when you’re sinking down a dark hole without even knowing they just saved you from burning alive in a building that was about to burst from furious flames on each floor. Thank you. I appreciate you.
P.s I woke up to the melodic sounds of Sia ringing in my head this morning and I have been playing her music for the better part of my morning.
So, what is Poverty?
The term poverty is one of the most contested terms especially in the academia of development with demographers, sociologists, economists and several other disciplines looking at it from different angles. Thus it is essential to understand that there is no one definition to poverty.
Poverty also termed the, “wound of wealth,” (Best, 2013) can be looked at as being caused by all aspects of life, ranging in magnitude in different world communities. The term poverty is a multifaceted label which according to Hyun Hwa Son (2013), “encompasses not only material deprivation (measured by income or consumption) but also many other forms of deprivation, including, being without a job, illness, lack of education, vulnerability, powerlessness, social exclusion and others.” Problems of poverty can be exemplified through various factors such as: little or no access to livelihood or jobs, inadequate access to clean water and nutritious food, poor delivery or a lack of access to social services which form the basics to human rights such as education, health care and a lack of housing; in turn the lack of the aforementioned causes conflict and inequality.
Having a better understanding of poverty from the above, what then is happiness? If you goggled it today it is simply the state of being happy. Wooww, now I know so much about it, I can be happy everyday lol. But does that give one clarity on what it is, on what it truly means? According to the Oxford English Dictionary happiness is defined as “Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.” From this definition, it is notable that happiness is a “feeling” or “state” meaning to say that it is temporary, and fades with time into impermanence; like all else it comes and it goes and it is impossible to cling to for human emotion is dynamic and is always in constant shift. It is also important for me to type that happiness is subjective. It is a personal emotion which cannot be forced on an individual but it blooms from within and may or may not spread to the next person because let’s face it sometimes it is contagious. Since it comes and go’s it becomes important to find a way to balance it out with everything else that happens in life. For one cannot always be happy for instance who can be happy when a sibling eats the meat one failed to eat the previous night when they missed their supper due to exhaustion after a long day only to wake up in anticipation of that very same meal, particularly the meat, to discover that instead of going for the starch, veggies or whatever else is in the plate they went right for the star of the meal, the meatttt!!! I was talking to a friend the other day and I was surprised to learn that they would not mind forgoing travel for a short period say a vacation in a revered part of the world but would rather stay in one place. They even used the term happy when we spoke of this and well I was like hell no at some point I want to travel the world and not just from my TV set or books but through my own first-hand experience although home is always best. The takeaway here is that the key to one’s happiness can only be found within and not be forced by what is external or rather by what some else fancies.
Now here comes my conundrum the first question that popped into my head when I heard the phrase, “happiness in poverty,” how can there be happiness in poverty? When the world is upside down or when nothing is going one’s way how can there be a feeling of welling being which can be characterized by pleasure or contentment?
Happiness in poverty is being the strongest man alive in a home in which you’re the head of the household. Everyone looks up to you for survival amongst endless bills. Monthly dues for water that never runs in the taps, which have dried up and have rusted after years of service; the battle against time is lost to the elements which know not that water is the life which sustains a house. A house which is kept running by waters’ flow in a kitchen which barely has enough to cook with the frantic scrambling of feet shuffling around to make that one meal for the whole day hoping to satisfy the mouths, with lips which are white and cracked, wide open and never seem to shut up tight. In the bathroom, water, to wash the battered clothes which have seen better days having been in use for so many years that the labels sown on faded, ripped and slipped off unnoticed, being handed down from the eldest to the youngest and recycled to fit whoever needs it more. Water needed for sanitation; for waste to flow out into sewer systems and to treatment plants which never have adequate chemicals anyway to cure it. Hence when it miraculously does flow out in the odd hours of the night, black, laced with small particles of who knows what with a pungent smell sure to make you crinkle your nose and leave your stomach unsettled even after having waited for the particles to settle and long after boiling it, red with years of oxidation having worked the pipes, and sometimes a watered down green maybe from the algae which thrives in spite of the filth. Happiness lies in being able to pay for your electricity although it still gets cut off in spite of having a prepaid meter, with faults when they do occur lasting for days on end, so you turn the empty pantry sorry I mean the empty cupboards upside down looking for candles which you know you used up the previous night so instead you turn in early that night and hope tomorrow that instead of getting four small tomatoes and a bundle or withering greens and the bread which has become so exorbitant it surpasses your busfare to your measly paying job you opt for two small tomatoes a discoloring bundle of greens and leave the bread, because porridge and sadza will just have to do tomorrow. What of the school shoes which developed a mouth at their front with the thread running on the soles despite having been mended last month? What of the new exercises books that are needed at the end of almost every month because the thick ones are just too expensive to buy to be used for just one subject? What of the children having to sleep in on a school day with hot funky tasting water to aid to their running stomach aches when there is no foreign currency to pay for decent medicine and money enough to buy nutritious food for a single small being thereafter to fill the deep growl that rumbles from their bellies? Come end of day does this seemingly dysfunctional family not laugh at some point in the evening when they get together and exchange stories about their slow days? Do the kids not get up early and go outside to play despite not having much to run on in their bellies? Does this family not still believe in a higher power? Do they not kneel day to pray to the Lord God, Almighty and pray for a longer life in which better days will come?
Happiness in poverty is gratitude. Counting your blessings even when in a slump and do not know how to get up and away from it. Happiness in poverty is being in a constant state of meditation regardless of your religion. It is an exercise through which an individual attains various mental and physical health benefits such as steady mental and emotional peace which can be attained through sharpening one’s attention and awareness through the practice of mindfulness, proven to reduce stress, improve focus. Instead of impulsive reactions the mind becomes more attentive and heedful in response.
Happiness in poverty is knowing when and where to say yes to gifts that are so readily offered. It is normal to want the best that life can offer but an essential question to ask is, at what cost? Gifts are more than receiving something and having it end at that, there moral implications to it, with laws of reciprocity governing it, there are expectations to it, saying a simple thank you can go a very long way at the very least -; but is that really all there is to it? What are the intentions of the giver?
Happiness in poverty is lacking a bit of sanity. Bowing your head down and keeping your mouth closed when you are taunted, when the masses want to bait you and see you lose your composure. Knowing to pick your battles wisely than to argue with people who live for drama. Knowing where to draw the line when everything you want seems to be right in front of you. Is it really yours for the taking or is it a rat trap meant to ensnare you at the cost of what you lack?
Happiness in poverty is not only being content when lacking material so is it then correct to say it is being content when the love you seek is not on the table? Being content then in this case means cutting your losses and finding peace. Is it right then to treat the next person like a casualty department in a hospital? Always having them receive patients with all kinds of ailments before leaving and moving on to the department that deals specifically with the condition you will be suffering from? What of the burden of pain and grief that is left with them? What of the battles they fought silently, the number of times they accepted that people make mistakes but instead of leaving a trail of tears chose to be the bigger person and to show compassion instead? Are they more human than the person who got their heart broken once or twice? Or rather maybe just maybe they found peace and moved on?
Happiness in poverty is learning your own preferences, your likes and dislikes and not waiting for regrettable moments to discover your limits. It is knowing whether you prefer tea to coffee not picking coffee just because most people think it elite. It is knowing whether you like big crowds or you prefer a quieter company to feel gratified. Happiness in poverty is choosing your own wellbeing by yourself rather than waiting for someone else to define you and pick up your own pieces. What of the moment they leave? Will you wait for the next person to glue things up for you? Well I do not some questions are rhetoric for personal evaluation.
Happiness in poverty is working hard to build a brighter future, seeking out opportunities sometimes throwing out reason. If not for this last bit I do not think I would started this blog!
Happiness in poverty is acknowledging the importance of family. They will always help you up even if you fall from grace.
Happiness in poverty is valuing those that stand by you even at the most questionable points in time when you yourself want to let go and jump of the ledge.
To the person struggling to find peace may you find your hearts’ “pleasure and contentment.”
Rumbidzo Andrea Mundangepfupfu.
References
Best, Jacqueline (2013) ‘Redefining poverty as risk and vulnerability: shifting strategies of liberal economic governance’ Third World Quarterly 34 (1): 109-129.
Hyun, H., S. (2013) Equity and Well-Being: Measurement and Policy Practice. Routledge. Doi: 113657932X, 9781136579325
Have you ever seen someone who is seated down and stopped to think what’s going on their minds🙇♀️🤔? Well, I have🧐. Observing, taking down mental notes then when my mom calls me or my phone rings with an app text I am transported to the initial task that had my mind occupied before🤦♀️ . What…
I stayed up late searching for inspiration. Watching an old movie, not many words in it though. A lot of action, a lot of singing, but overall entertaining. Something to watch, something to keep the eyes busy, something to distract the mind. There’s a lot of background noise in this picture its really loud but…
Sometimes when screenplay analysts sell movies on the big screen the content comes alive amounting to something that has the potential to become epic and in those two to three minutes of a movie trailer, one is made a believer. The bar is set so high one feels a fool by waiting for the premiere. One is sold on it so much so the wait to watch it can be nerve wrecking, paralyzing even.
When a movie premieres, people set time aside to watch it, whether in cinemas or at home but at times it falls to naught. One can barely watch the actual movie past the first sixty seconds. And like most people, press pause and opt for a re-run of something old or keep looking for some good content. The resemblance of the trailer to the whole movie becomes hyperbolic burning to ash and disappearing into non existence. One can go so far as to question their own judgment based on this single assessment. The movie producers aim of providing captivating entertainment would’ve fallen through. They can not force one to watch it. They cannot stop the bad reviews. For there is the viewers’ freedom at work. Now that in itself says a lot.
Don’t let someone else dictate your future based on what they create or what happened in the past. Embrace the human agency that is within you and alter your future using the teachings you have acquired retrospectively and what you are learning at present.
To be human is to err but do not let that make you lose sight of what is right.
In essence the primal instinct within allows one to survive through embracing our urges. However morals and values shape us to shape a better society. Without which there is no consensus, no society. There comes disintegration through mindlessness, greed and indifference.
Stop preaching hypocrisy.
Adapt.
Take charge, be active and be the future you want to see.
The movie part did have you going though, right.😉😂
andyscribbles 